Face Dancers

Face Dancers
By
Raman Jalota

   Jeff McDaniel stared at his opponent with disgust. Mark had the audience clapping and cheering at every gap in his speech. What the hell do I say to that? Think man … think. He got up slowly and walked to the mike. His mind was racing.
    “I am amazed at what my opponent has been saying.   Trees and forests are the treasures of our nation! That’s utter nonsense.”
   He looked at the faces of his classmates. Yes, I am on the right track. They want to hear a differing opinion, and not just differing but also a solid controversial opinion. That’s the way to do it.
    “A tree never fed a family. A forest never cooked a meal. We need something beyond trees and forests … yes … we need money … gold … that’s the true language of the world ... our world. The true treasures of our country are not what my opponent says … its not trees and flowers and grass and forests … it is the gold we have. The true treasures of our country are the gold reserves in Fort Knox. These tree huggers have been blinded by the forests that they say they are trying to protect. We need to clear the forests to lift these blinders from their eyes.”

…..

   The supreme commander spat in disgust, “This is all you can come up with? Is this how you propose to take over this planet?”
   Rokicki fumbled with his words while looking at his assistants for help, “Well, the serum is slow acting and takes root over a period of five to seven years. We had to find someone manipulative enough at this point in his life to convert.”
   The escee stared at him, “You call yourself a priest? Is this who you plan to convert?” He walked over to the monitor and stuck his finger in Mark’s face. “If this is the best you can do, then I doubt there can be any success in your conversion. What guarantee do you have that this is the future of this planet. You really think someone like him can be the ruler of this planet? What’s Gehret up to?”
    Gehret strolled in confidently, “I have a perfect plan escee. Soon as I have completed the current training session for JFK I can plant him back.”
   Rokicki pointed at Gehret, “Don’t fall for his plan escee. My serum is better and I have several specimens incubating on the planet already. Face dancers! That’s all he is capable of creating. Face dancers! One can spot them a mile away.”
   “Is that true Gehret? Yet another face dancer?”
   “But no one can spot them escee. This is a perfect creation. You have to see him to believe him.”

…..

   JFK smiled at Gehret and held his hand. The escee walked around examining him.
   “He looks very old … is this who you think they will follow? Why?”
   “Escee, he is the greatest president that these people had and they will follow him wherever he leads.”
   “Is he still living?”
   “No he was shot dead 36 years ago. He has to look old if somehow he survived the assassination. JFK recite your speech to escee.”
   JFK slowly walked towards the escee and cleared his throat, “Ask not what your country can do for you … ask what you can do for the country … and me. I am the messiah sent back to lead you to the promised land.” He raised his hand and flicked the hair off his eyes and smiled a slightly crooked smile, one side of his face creasing deeper than the other.”
   Gehret punched some keys on the console by the monitor and a black and white picture of Kennedy appeared saying, “And so, my fellow Americans … ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world … ask not what America will do for you, but together what we can do for the freedom of …”
   “He looks quite old already”, the escee pointed at the monitor; “How old would he have been?”
   “Eighty one years old escee.”
   “That’s not so old. How long do these people live?”
   “Err … escee that’s a problem … I can’t make him too old for fear he will not be taken seriously … you see, they only live to be around seventy-five or so.”
   Escee screamed, “Gehret! Are you wasting your time with this nonsense?” His shaking finger pointed at JFK who stood bewildered and trembling before them. “Dismantle him. This is nonsense. You have to come up with something better than this.”
   “But escee … the essence of my vision is correct … JFK would be hard to sell to the earthlings but the plan is right … I need someone that they will not question. Someone …”
   “Idiots! Do I have to do everything myself?”

…..

   Rockicki stood up as Gehret entered his office, “Why do you want to see me? What’s the emergency?”
   “It’s our necks on the line Rockicki. We have to come up with a fool proof method to plant our man as the ruler of this planet else …”
   “It may be your neck on the line. I am content with my serum and the hundreds of people I have been able to install it in and continue to do on each and every landing. You are the one who boasted of a perfect solution and came up with another face dancer.”
   “Rockicki, you may think you are safe, but if your plan fails, then you have to pay too. I may be gone in the next few months but you won’t survive much longer either. Escee was really mad at both your demo and mine. He left muttering something like he has to do everything himself. And you know what happened last time he did that?”
   “Ah yes, the cruiser disasters. Why does he think he can out design his designers? He has failed whenever he tried.”
   “Yes of course. He is a theorist without any understanding of practical design. But he controls our universe and will wipe out any dissent or criticism like he has done the last three hundred years.”
   “O.K. Gehret, you have talked me into it. But what do we do? How do we solve this?”
   “Come to my lab where I am going to decompose the face dancer, perhaps we can come up with a solution.”

…..

   The ambassador from Shlitz looked horrorstricken, “But you can not annihilate a planet?”
   The escee smiled, “If Shlitz does not capitulate immediately, I have no choice but to destroy it.”
   “Your destroying the planet destroys the minerals you want. You get nothing if you destroy us.”
   “You are right, I would rather have you accept my demand and comply, but I also can not have any of the thirty seven planets defy my command. Your destruction doesn’t help me, but it establishes my iron fist. Convey that to your ruler immediately.”
   The escee signaled to one of the attendants. The attendant punched the keypad and the monitor lit up. After a few seconds the planet Shlitz with its three moons was in the center of the monitor. The bluish planet with its three yellow moons looked majestic and untouchable.
   “What’s their answer?”
   “I am sorry escee but they reject your ultimatum.”
   He nodded and the attendant pushed the keypad. Three small dots appeared out of the bottom left corner of the monitor and headed towards one of the three moons.
   The ambassador gasped, “That’s Calista. You can’t destroy it.”
   “Watch and learn.”
   A barrage of blue lasers and missiles tried to intercept the three small dots, but the three small dots, growing slightly larger and conical approached the moon unaffected. Almost instantaneously, the three dots disappeared and Calista exploded in a shower of silver dust. As the ambassador gasped in agony, the silver dust slowly disappeared.
   “This is blackmail, escee.”
   “Now, do we understand each other? You either give in or die.” He laughed loudly.
   The ambassador struggled with his voicecoder and pleaded, “Please, no more destruction. You have wiped out three million Shlitzes already. I will get an answer immediately.”
   Escee smiled as the ambassador relayed the surrender of his planet. “I only wish I could have shown it to the rulers of the earth. I could have avoided much expense in my final conquest.”

…..

   Al Gore brought his fist down on the podium, “I agree with the governor on many things but on this issue – we are completely opposite. I believe pornography is very harmful. Pornography is the work of the devil. It destroys society. It corrupts our citizens and eats away at the very basis of morality that our country was built upon. If allowed to flourish, it will undermine our entire nation.”
   George Bush smiled mischievously, “I am glad you are against photography, but you see I am not. Yes, I agree it can be very hard to deal with … what with these flash lights in your eyes and all the paint that you have to put on your face to look good, but it’s hardly the work of the devil. And let me tell you, in Texas I brought the photographers together and sat them all down. I was able to talk with them.   I was able to work with them. We now have a school of photography in Texas. It’s for the good of all of us. I was able to work with them and come to a mutual agreement. That’s what we need to do in Washington. Why you couldn’t do that in Washington in eight years is beyond me?”
   “It’s pornography we are talking about George. It takes root in the hearts and minds of men and they drag helpless children into their dirty world. And then there’s no getting away from it. I would work hard to ban it completely and absolutely.”
   “Not so fast, Gore. We don’t have to destroy an entire industry just because you can’t work with them. What do you mean it destroys children? They look cute in all these pictures. I like their pictures. I can and will work with the photographers. It’s for the good of the whole country.”
   Jim Lehrer looked at one and then the other, shaking his head. What the hell is this country in for? What the hell is the world in for? Damn it! What the hell am I in for? This can’t be true. We can’t have come to this already. American presidential candidates … heck one of them is going to be the president, unless we all die, God willing! Can we survive this? An American president …the most powerful man in the world, without an iota of intellect!

…..

   The escee laughed out loud and walked over to Al Gore. He put his arm around him and kissed him on the forehead, “You are so good! But so funny … hilariously funny.”
   “I thought I was pretty good too, escee.”
   “Yes George, you kept me laughing. You guys are good. Come here.”
   He had Al in his right arm and George in his left. Gehret and Rockicki were smiling, their faces lit with the glory of accomplishment.
   Gehret looked at the three of them and said, “Now!”
   The escee looked in amazement as Al Gore changed into George Bush and he held two George Bushes in his hands.
   “Marvelous! Great face dancers Gehret. I couldn’t tell they were face dancers. How did you do it?”
   “It’s Rockicki’s serum and my face dancers, except this time we took twin embryos and manufactured them.   Do you think they will pass for humans … for presidential candidates?”
   “They look good, but who is ever going to believe they are humans. They will spot them as face dancers in a second. This plan will never work. A whole planet can’t be that stupid!”
   “Anything is possible. Should we send them down and see?”

The End          2019 words

Copyright © 2004 Raman Jalota. All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the author.

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