Raman
Jalota's Stories
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537
by Raman Jalota Carolynn brushed her hair slowly. She looked at herself in the mirror. Faint circles under her eyes were very visible. The long hours and days of crying had left permanent marks on her face. Her eyes were quite clear and their deep blue color still had a hint of the old spark. Her long, soft, golden hair was the one thing that hadn't changed in the last three years. She ran the brush through the bottom part of her hair and then went back to the top of her head. The brush strokes were soothing and relaxing. She closed her eyes for a moment. Tears slowly crept out from under her eyelids; she threw the brush and started crying helplessly once again. She started the hot water running in the tub and went downstairs to the kitchen. She picked up the short, sharp paring knife and slowly walked up the stairs. "Will he show up today and make my life worth living? Or am I fooling myself again? There's no point in prolonging it another night." She entered the bathroom and leaned over the sink. She stared hard at her reflection. She seemed to be in a daze. She started to take off her dress. There was loud knocking on the front door. She ran down the stairs and opened the door. She stood at the entrance for a few minutes, looking towards the front, to the right and then the left. Nothing. The wind was hissing every so often, like a snake ready to attack. She closed the door and holding on to the railing she walked up the stairs, back to the task she had been unable to finish.
..
Parker lay in bed
sweating, shifting aimlessly and murmuring. I know who that
is. That's Carolynn. How the hell do I know her?
He
moved closer to the window and looked inside.Carolynn brushed her hair slowly. She looked at herself in the mirror. Faint circles under her eyes were very visible. The long hours and days of crying had left permanent marks on her face. Her eyes were quite clear and their deep blue color still had a hint of the old spark. Her long, soft, golden hair was the one thing that hadn't changed in the last three years. She ran the brush through the bottom part of her hair and then went back to the top of her head. The brush strokes were soothing and relaxing. She closed her eyes for a moment. Tears slowly crept out from under her eyelids; she threw the brush and started crying helplessly once again. She started the hot water running in the tub and went downstairs to the kitchen. She picked up the short, sharp paring knife and slowly walked up the stairs. "Will he show up today and make my life worth living? Or am I fooling myself again? There's no point in prolonging it another night." She reached the bathroom and leaned over the sink. She stared hard at her reflection. She seemed to be in a daze. She started to take off her dress. Parker ran to the door but stumbled and fell. He got up and started beating on the door with his fists. He opened his eyes and turned on the light. He sat up in bed; breathing hard and scared. I have to get to her. I have to help her. She needs me right now. He ran to the bathroom and washed his face. He walked out of his apartment and got on the bus. He ran into the train station and hurried to the ticket window. "One ticket Santa Fe." "That will be the 537 train, leaving in half an hour. Fifty three dollars you want a return ticket too?"
..
The 537 train sped
towards Alamosa and Santa Fe leaving Denver in complete darkness.
Parker walked up and down, smoking and wondering. Who is
she? I don't know who she is, but I feel as if I have known her
all my life. Carolynn. I know she is Carolynn, but don't
know how I know her. Carolynn needs me. I promised her I
would be there. I must get there before
It was still dark when he got off the train and looked around. A checkered taxi was idling in front of the station. He got in and headed to Carolynn. He paid the driver and walked swiftly towards the house. A light was on in the bedroom window. He remembered what he had seen in the dream. I hope I am not too late. He ran to the door, stumbled and fell. He got up and started beating on the door with his fists. Carolynn started to take off her dress. She heard the loud knocking on the front door. She ran down the stairs and opened the door. Her face lit up as soon as she saw Parker. She ran into his arms. "I knew you would come. No matter what any one else said. I knew you would come for me." They walked inside and she led him to the dining room. As he sipped the fresh coffee she made for him, his mind somersaulted in all directions. He stared at her face intently, hoping it would jog his memory. Who is she? How do I know her? There's a familiarity as if I have known her forever, yet I don't think I can remember how and where and what. "What took you so long, Parker? Where have you been?" "I have been in Denver. I just couldn't get away." "I have been waiting desperately for you. Promise me you will never leave me again." Again? Why do I think I have never met her before? And then, why do I also think I have known her all my life? He held her and kissed her repeatedly, "I know, I don't want to leave you either." "I want to be with you from now till the end of time. Promise me you will be with me from now on." "I want to but I must get back to Denver. What will I do in Santa Fe?" "Take me with you. There's nothing here for me. I just want to be with you." "I have a very small place. I will have to make arrangements before I can have you come and stay with me." "Don't you love me anymore?" He felt strange saying what he was saying, but he felt it coming from his heart and soul, "I have always loved you and will always love you. I need to go back to Denver and take care of things. I will be back in a few days. Is that so bad?" "You promise?" "Didn't I show up as I told you?" "Yes, but I can't stay here all alone, waiting and waiting. It's tortuous, this waiting for ever." "Don't worry. It will be short. I will be back in a few days. Not weeks, but days."
..
Carolynn brushed
her hair slowly. She looked at herself in the mirror. Faint
circles under her eyes were very visible. The long hours and days
of crying had left permanent marks on her face. Her eyes were
quite clear and their deep blue color still had a hint of the old
spark. Her long, soft, golden hair was the one thing that hadn't
changed in the last three years. She ran the brush through the
bottom part of her hair and then went back to the top of her
head. The brush strokes were soothing and relaxing. She
closed her eyes for a moment. Tears slowly crept out from under
her eyelids; she threw the brush and started crying helplessly once
again.She started the hot water running in the tub and went downstairs to the kitchen. She picked up the short, sharp paring knife and slowly walked up the stairs. "Will he show up today and make my life worth living? Or am I fooling myself again? There's no point in prolonging it another night." Parker shook his head. Am I daydreaming now? But it was so real. I could almost touch her. It is all settled anyway. I can go and bring her now. I will leave right now and catch the same train that I did last time. He ran into the train station and hurried to the ticket window. "One ticket Santa Fe." "Well son, there's no direct train to Santa Fe. How do you want to do it? You can first take a bus to Raton or take a train to " "What do you mean no train to Santa Fe? It's the 537 train. I just went there last week." "The 537 train?" "Yes, there was another clerk here, last Tuesday when I came here." The clerk took off his glasses and stared at Parker. "Son, there hasn't been a train with that number for years who knows maybe even decades." "But I took the 537 train to Alamosa ... and then Santa Fe last Tuesday!" "Not on Amtrak, you didn't. And this is the only train line in Denver. You'd be better off catching the Greyhound if you want to go to Santa Fe. You would make it quicker probably save yourselves a day by taking the Greyhound." His mind was completely confused. No such train! How can that be? How did I get there last week? Did I really go to Santa Fe? Yes, of course I did. It said Santa Fe on the station as I got out of the train. Have I been hallucinating or what?
..
Parker got off the Greyhound and
looked around. Even the town
doesn't look the same. There
are more lights, more crowds, more noise, more neon signs
this
doesn't seem like the same city I was in last week. What the hell
is happening?He looked around for a taxi, not seeing one he walked to the magazine stall, "How do I get to Apache and 8th Street?" "I don't know where Apache is but there's 8th Street, three blocks east." He pointed up ahead. Parker lit a cigarette and walked to 8th Street. The street ran south to north curving around the hills of Santa Fe. He walked a few blocks and shook his head. This place is too crowded. There were hardly any houses around Carolynn's home. It looked more like a farm house in the middle of nowhere than a housing development. He saw a cab and waved it down, "I need to get to Apache and 8th." "Get in Apache? Did you say Apache?" "Yes." The cab driver spoke into his walkie-talkie then turned to Parker, "There's no such street in Santa Fe. You sure you don't want another street?" "Can you drive me down 8th Street. I hadn't gone too far from the train station last time." "Well the train station is just half a mile from here. What are you looking for?" They drove in silence as he stared out the window. This is too strange. I don't recognize anything. What happened in a week? He paid the driver and walked dejectedly back towards the greyhound terminal. No such street. But I was here last week. I saw her and held her in my arms. He lit another cigarette and walked into the bar across from the greyhound station. It was dimly lit with stale smoke overtaking the interior and tired old men sitting around drinking their evenings away. Parker sat at the bar and ordered a Canadian Club and Seven Up. He sipped the drink and looked at the bartender for a while. The old bartender knew when someone needed to talk to him and walked over to his side, "New in town, man?" "Yes and no. I was here last week or at least I thought I was and now I can't seem to get my bearings straight." "Where you headed?" "I came from Denver, to visit my friend, but I can't find her house." The bartender put his chin on his hands and looked at Parker inquisitively, "Where does she live?" "She lives on Apache Street and" "There's no such street here, you sure it was called Apache?" "Yes." "Anyone here heard of an Apache street?" He shouted towards the group of tables in the back. An old man came up to the bar. "Sure. There used to be an Apache Street way back when, but it got changed twenty years back into something else." Parker turned on his bar stool to face the old man. "There was an Apache Street here then?" "Yes, but they changed the name several years back to something else." He swallowed. "Did a Carolynn live there?" "That's just a story. Yes, I have heard the story of the blonde they called her Carolynn Graham. She told the town folks she had a sweetheart who was going to come and take her away one day." "When was this?" "Oh who knows back in the fifties or maybe even earlier." "What happened?" "According to the story, she kept getting older and no one ever showed up. She was all alone you know. Up on the hill on a farm all by herself. All her friends found boys and married and settled. But she was left all alone and she kept talking about her Prince Charming . She even had a name for him Parker yes Parker I think it was a made up name, for a made up man, who never came. One day someone found her dead in her own house up there on the hill she killed herself." Parker smoked continuously and bought another whiskey. He drank it down and got his courage up. "Was there a train that came here from Denver, in those days?" "Oh yes .. 'The Chili line', the old train on the Antonito - Santa Fe route. They stopped running that too in the fifties .. or was it the forties?" Parker sat in the Greyhound terminal, more confused than before. I guess I just have to wait till daybreak to catch the bus back home. There's nothing here. Just a story that brought me here. A story ... or a dream or something else.
..
Carolynn brushed her hair
slowly. She looked at herself in the mirror. Faint circles
under her eyes were very visible. The long hours and days of
crying had left permanent marks on her face. Her eyes were quite
clear and their deep blue color still had a hint of the old
spark. Her long, soft, golden hair was the one thing that hadn't
changed in the last three years. She ran the brush through the
bottom part of her hair and then went back to the top of her
head. The brush strokes were soothing and relaxing. She
closed her eyes for a moment. Tears slowly crept out from under
her eyelids; she threw the brush and started crying helplessly once
again.She started the hot water running in the tub and went downstairs to the kitchen. She picked up the short, sharp paring knife and slowly walked up the stairs. "Will he show up today and make my life worth living? Or am I fooling myself again? There's no point in prolonging it another night." She entered the bathroom and leaned over the sink. She stared hard at her reflection. She seemed to be in a daze. She started to take off her dress. There was loud knocking on the front door. She ran down the stairs and opened the door. She stood at the entrance for a few minutes, looking towards the front, to the right and then the left. Nothing. The wind was hissing every so often, like a snake ready to attack. She closed the door and holding on to the railing she walked up the stairs, back to the task she had been unable to finish. She touched the water in the tub and took off her dress. She slowly climbed in and lay in the soothing hot water for a long time. All of a sudden, she pursed her lips; with his picture filling her head, she brought the knife to her left wrist and slashed it quickly. She transferred the knife to her left hand and did the same to her right wrist. She dropped the knife to the side of the tub and flinched as the pain intensified. Almost instantaneously, the pain subsided and a soothing feeling slowly filled her mind. She smiled, dreaming of Parker as the red liquid of life slowly seeped out of her wrists and filled the bathtub.
The End
2812 words
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Copyright © 2004 Raman Jalota. All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the author. |
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